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2/2 - The Measure Of The Man
A while later, I lay in the lovely and familiar indoor
pool, amongst some dancing lights I had placed into the water
itself and it was a most beautiful effect. I wish I had
thought of doing this when I had had the great pool in the
tower to play with as I pleased, but there, I had never even
set a flicker anywhere.
Across the hallway, Lucian was re-constructing some objects
and destroying others in his room. He was using entirely the
time shifting to do this, and was rapidly becoming tired with
the energy he was expending, yet had no intention of leaving
the task half finished.
I gently touched him and offered assistance when he was
becoming extremely frustrated at his own inability to keep up
with his plans and designs, and kept on nudging him until he
finally found some humour from somewhere and accepted me in
with good grace.
Together, it was an easy thing. I was rested and had only
vague relationships with the objects in question so there was
no emotional content to get constricted in and to have to
fight free of before the relatively simple pattern
transformation could be accomplished.
Interestingly enough, Lucian had far more experience in
time work than me; he had devoted considerable amounts of
effort to learning the finer points when I had been studying
Sepheal’s crystals and the doorway problems and knew exactly
what to do. It was an unusual experience for him to be the
operator and me the one to lend the power once he had laid
down the course of action; it was quite challenging and
intense for I had to be perfectly aware of when to push and
when to hold back, instant response being of the essence.
After a while, I lost touch as to what we were actually doing
and just fell into pure pattern work which had no reward
beyond itself, and by the time he send me a huge sigh of
relief and the declaration that we had finished, the water I
was drifting in had become very cold and I was shivering and
tired.
I got out of the pool quickly and wrapped myself in two of
the big towels and went across to get a visual impression of
what we had been working so hard to establish.
I stuck my towel covered head around the doorframe and the
very first thing I saw had me gasp in amazement.
There, above the dark and empty fireplace, straight across
from the door, sat the two Tadara swords, shimmering blue
black in their custom made holders, right where they belonged
and as though nothing had ever happened.
Lucian was sitting on the bed, playing with a silver
bracelet and looked from me to the swords and smiled.
“How on earth did you do that?” I asked him, truly
astonished.
He got up from the bed and walked across, touched the wall
and send me the information – here, it was easy, I turned a
small section of the wall back in time until the Tadara
re-appeared. Then, I took that and brought it forward, meshed
it where the now was and look – here they are!
He took one of the swords off the holder, transferred it to
the other hand and held it out, hilt first to me.
I untangled a hand and took the sword, tracing into its
patterns. There was a slight strangeness about it, a tiny
oddness in its resonance, yet it felt real enough and solid
through and through. I tapped it against the upright of the
bed and it vibrated all the way through into my fingers,
wrist, arm and shoulder.
I shook my head and said, “That is truly extraordinary,
Lucian.”
He smiled and came to take the sword from me, returned it
lovingly to its holder and gave it a small caressing touch. I
glanced around the room. All was as it once had been, the rug
perfect or even perhaps better than it had been, the carved
chests restored and carefully stacked. I did not need to look
at the closed wardrobe door to know that his clothes would be
inside, perfectly aligned and perfectly the same in cut, be
they shirts, jackets or trousers.
The only thing that was blatantly missing was the red
tapestry, and I was sorry for that.
“What could have happened to it, I wonder?” I asked him
and sat down on the bed, starting to rub my hair beneath the
towel.
Lucian shrugged his shoulders. “Perhaps we can find it.
If we cannot, we can soon bring it back from the past, if
necessary.”
“Hm,” I said, the towel covering my face and enjoying
what amounted to scratching my head all over under the guise
of drying my hair which I could have done far more easily by
magic. “This is a strange talent, for sure. I wonder how far
it can be extended.”
“Oh,” said Lucian and sat down next to me, “I think
it is just a matter of adding more power for larger
endeavours.” He fell silent for a moment as the
repercussions of the idea began to become apparent.
I could bring Malme back from the dead.
The thought shuddered me although, indeed, I thought we
could.
You could have your brother back.
Lucian, stop it. This is – beyond – beyond – well,
beyond something that one should not
think beyond.
How so, my lady?
It doesn’t seem right, that’s all.
Unnoticed, my hands had slowed down and just rested on my
head now, then I pulled the towel away and looked at him.
He was obviously tired, but there was still a restlessness
about him, an unusual eagerness to do which I found somewhat
disconcerting. As I watched him, he reached over to the
bedside table and picked up the silver bracelet he had been
playing with when I came in. He held it up to me and said,
“Tell me about this.”
I did not want to take it for the memory came instantly and
at once.
There it was, brand new and bright, and sitting on the
soft brown arm of a highborn lady, big square links with a
centre piece of an oval each, exquisitely crafted and showing
around its 12 components the ancient tale of how Sondra, a
great hero, vanquished the ones who had betrayed his father,
even though they had transformed themselves into monsters and
creatures of all kinds, and one had become the ocean.
As the bracelet, the woman wearing it is exquisite. She
is tall and raven haired, her eyes are black and sparkle
beneath the longest of lashes. She has the most amazing sweep
of neck into soft shoulders and a regal bearing that adds
delight to her virginial beauty and innocence. I am utterly
entranced by her movements and her voice and loath to take her
for I know I will destroy her, yet I cannot leave her be for
another to have in my place. She knows well she pleases me and
plays for my affections in her inexperienced way, and I sit at
the banquet all night and hardly take my eyes off her.
Malme is by my side. He is well aware of my predilections
yet never speaks about them or gives the slightest indication
of his disapproval. When the wine has made
us slow and the night is so old it is about to die
amidst the grey skies just beyond the feasting tent, he leans
across to me and says, “Cia, my friend. Take her bracelet
and leave her be. That way, she can be with you forever, just
as she was this night, and never will become a corpse or
shrivelled half corpse of a crone.”
It may have been the wine, and I am sure it must have
been the wine, but I got up and went to her and whilst she
looked at me and smiled and giggled, carefully undid the
bracelet and slipped it into my pocket. Then I went outside
into the new dawn and had a horse brought to me, and I rode
ahead to the first outpost where I waited for Malme and the
others to catch up.
We never mentioned it and I never saw her again. But
always, I kept the bracelet on my travels.
The memory complete, it faded and there was the room again
and the bracelet, in his open palm. My feet were cold and I
brought them up beneath me and the towel.
Why show me this? To have me know that I cannot compare
to her great beauty?
Ah. But this was just the first act. Watch the rest of the
play.
He bend and laid the bracelet carefully on the floor. It
began to shift vaguely and move, seemed to become brighter and
brighter still, then it lost cohesion and turned slowly into a
puddle of liquid metal that eroded before my eyes, turned to
what seemed grey rock and then fell apart until each part
exploded in the tiniest of rippling starbursts and was gone
entirely.
He relaxed then and a great wave of tiredness washed from
him to me.
Perhaps you are right. Perhaps there are things that are of
the past and must remain there, in their context. Even if we
tried to bring them back, their time had been and gone. Her
time has been and gone, and I have now instead of visions and
illusions a woman right here beside me who is more to me than
any. It will soon be night yet I am tired now. Will you lie
with me and keep me company?
I will lie with you, my
lord. Beneath a tapestry of red or blue, or even under alien
lights, it matters not.
He smiled and pushed himself off the bed to get undressed,
whilst I exchanged the cover of the towels for the cover of
the blankets – plain white linen, as was usual in this house
and I was grateful that he had deleted Thoran’s fancy
velvet. The bed was cool against me and I longed for him to
join me so that I might share a little of his heat.
Lucian carefully placed his clothes, one item at a time,
over a chair by the side of the wardrobe. I watched him reveal
his body and move it with such ease and marvelled how it
failed to show so utterly in the flesh all that which had
befallen him in his long life. To all intents, he should not
be so smooth, nor should his limbs be straight or his muscles
ripple as he stretched and bent.
Was there a single bone in his body that hand not been
broken at one time or the other? Had he not lost his hands
three times or more in that short space I knew of him? Was
there a single inch of skin or flesh that had not been
flailed, peeled, sliced, stabbed or burned at one time or the
other? Where did the injuries go, where were the scars that he
must bear as surely as I bear my own somewhere, inside myself
and they don’t show but that can never mean they are not
there?
He walked across the room, lightly on his feet and slipped
into the bed beside me, in one move right up against me and
sweeping me up in a deep embrace of warmth and comfort. I
placed my cold feet on his calves and he did not object just
laid his head against my shoulder, letting the tiredness take
him, letting the bed support him fully and letting my presence
be a comfort.
Within moments, he was fast asleep and snoring lightly,
leaving me to lie against his hot body, my breasts aching
badly for his mouth and all of my skin on red alert
and tingling. I breathed deeply and waited until the desire
for him began to recede steadily, and the ache in my stomach
began to resolve; then I joined him lightly and let his deep
waves of exhausted sleep take me down as well.
We slept all through the evening, the night and halfway
into the next day and when I finally awoke fully, I was still
tired, a deep, grey tiredness that weighs your shoulders and
makes your legs tremble with the effort of nothing, and your
head hollow and tight.
The light from the window was far too bright and I put my
arm across my eyes with a groan. The man to whom I had dedicated my
life lightly pinched my nipple and said in a cheery voice
that was far too loud for my liking, “Come now, it is late,
and high time we were on our way.”
I groaned again and blinked painfully into the light and
his face. He was fully dressed and sitting at the edge of the
bed, looking totally focussed, freshly washed, immaculate in
perfect black and bursting with energy.
It was too much. I rolled over and turned my back on him,
away from the window and drew the sheets high over my
shoulders.
He emanated a mixture of amusement and frustration for a
moment, then swiftly left the room, closing the door quite
softly behind him. I sighed with gratitude and stretched out
long beneath the sheets, grateful for the reprieve, and lay
for a while unthinkingly until my bladder seriously demanded I
take action or the consequences. Very reluctantly, I slid from
the bed and made my way through the cold to the washroom, then
back under the covers as quickly as I could to catch the heat
remaining there.
Now this was blissful. I lay and drifted in comfort until I
could feel him approach once more and kept my eyes closed as
he made quite a deal of coming into the room.
He noted my half attention.
The cook ran away. I brought you some food, and water.
This put the sounds into context but I had no intention of
opening my eyes quite yet. It was simply too nice just to lie
here and be warm, be sleepy. Water was not what I wanted right
now.
Lucian was amused.
If I was your group leader, I would whip you to your
feet. Where is your discipline?
I just send back a long, drawn out hmmmmmmm of
comfort and sensual relaxation, and stretched luxuriously
under the blankets.
He received it with a sharp intake of breath and a little
while later, I felt him sit down on the bed; then his hand,
hard, dry and warm, touched the side of my neck. It set up a tingle
that spread right around my body and I fed it right back to
him, causing a rush of sensation in return, and he set to
struggling to control himself. Naturally.
Join me for a while, I send him languidly.
It is day. It is time to get going.
Oh lay down your soldier’s discipline and exchange it for
another kind of duty.
(Confusion, astonishment, then amusement) Ah so it is my
duty to be pleasing you?
Of course. Your first duty, at all times. If I was your
group leader, I would whip you from your clothes. Where is
your discipline, Lord Lucian?
He laughed out loud at that and leaned down to kiss my
shoulder, a deliciousness, hot and wet that I would wish would
go across the whole of me and take me in. He tracked me
tightly and laid a butterfly touch on my breast that caused me
to raise my chest and hips towards his hand all at the same
time and give a small sighlike moan.
Cruelly then, he withdrew his mouth and hand and sat back,
hands resting relaxed on his thighs, and I had to open my eyes
and look at him.
“I am not yet pleased, my lord,” I told him and he bit
his lower lip briefly to contain a smile and dropped his head.
“Perhaps I need instructions in my duties,” he said.
Don’t be cruel with me, Lucian. You feel what I feel.
Please us both this morning.
What would you have me do?
Well you could start by removing your jacket, and your
shirt.
And my boots and trousers?
Yes, those too.
He complied with excruciating slowness and spend an
extraordinary time folding and arranging his clothes in a tidy
pile on the chest. Then he stood to attention in all ways
which made me giggle.
Awaiting your orders, my lady.
Come here to me, before I translocate you myself!
He smiled and got into the bed, lay on his back, straight
and true with his arms by his side, eyes to the ceiling.
I touched his hot arm and shoulder and his chest, my palms
and fingertips greedy for his skin then leaned across him,
kissing his stomach, lower and lower, my hands now stroking
his thighs, his hips, and he began to tremble and his hips
made small movements over which he had no control.
So I stopped and slid upwards, along his long body until I
was on a level with him, looking down.
How much do you want me, Lucian?
He did not answer but his mouth opened a small way,
involuntarily.
Slowly, I pulled my knee across his hip and pushed myself
against his thigh, making sure not to touch his penis by
accident.
How much do you want me, Lucian?
He was trembling hard now and against his will, his hands
came up and around me, fingers flexing and digging into my
neck and back and he pulled me across on top of him. Slowly, I
allowed first one leg, then the other to slide to either side
of him, my desire for him now so painful and intense that I
was at the edges of my control, and raised my hips to just rub
myself against him.
How much do you want me, Isca?
I don’t know if or why this competition, but I was tired
of it. To lose it was to win the kingdom and I answered him,
More than anyone or anything I have ever known.
Some time later, after I had screamed for him and come for
him and he had worshipped me to the extreme, we lay across the
bed, hot and delicious, and I was suckling on his little
finger for comfort whilst he was playing with my breast in an
absentminded fashion.
What are you thinking of, my love?
I am wondering where to build the castle in which I can
wall you in to keep you for myself forever, he replied
languidly.
That is a strange idea. But how can I take my lovers, if
you were to wall me in?
He turned over quite sharply to look at me closely as well
as reaching to my mind.
Why do you wish my jealousy?
I smiled and cupped his neck, so strong, so wide.
Your jealousy is one thing
that I need to hear and touch and feel.
What might the others be?
Oh – let me see now. A
dragon slaying, here and there. The head of a vanquished enemy
in a basket. Your attention and perhaps a gift when least I
had expected to receive it.
He laughed lightly. That is not asking for too much. But
what of my lovers?
Your lovers?
Well yes. I would have a
serving girl, perhaps a slave or two,
for interest and for variety.
It was my turn to bite my lip and track him to a place
where he was laughing in delight.
Your jealousy is a delight to me, you are quite right.
It is a strange pain, is it not?
Yes. His amusement stopped instantly as he looked
down at me. It is indeed.
I stroked his neck in re-assurance.
Now me, I need the dragon slaying and the gifts. What would
you need of me?
He became thoughtful and intense.
I would need you to not doubt me. To trust in me. And to
have eyes for me alone.
The latter is more easily
promised. But I promise I shall try for the others with the
very best I have to give.
He kissed me gently and said, “No man could ask for more.”
For a while, we lay in silence and comfort, until he said,
“I will wed you at the Abbey in Pertineri, before this time
of year comes round again.”
There were a great many things behind that statement that I
did not wish to enter into and destroy the moment so I just
send acknowledgement.
He gave me an indefinable glance and slid out from under
me. It was a bereavement to feel him go, even though I was
glad when he brought the tray with the bread and meat and
water and placed it on the bed so we could eat.
I drank greedily, ate hungrily and felt wonderful that
morning.
A marked absence of minds created a much needed space of
silence.
I thought of the cook who had run away sometime during the
night and couldn’t help but smile. I did not really blame
him.
Lucian must have heard my thought for he said, “We will
retrieve Marani on this expedition.”
I’m not sure if I had forgotten or just repressed the
idea about him accompanying me to Headman’s Acre but the
piece of meat I was about to swallow got stuck in my throat
and I set to coughing.
When I had contained myself I looked at him very seriously
and said, “Lucian, now, you cannot go with me.”
He looked at me in surprise. “What do you mean?”
I shook my head. “There is a house full of children
there. You remember them, I trust?”
He rose from the bed and began to get dressed, starting
with his white shirt. It was amusing in a way to see him like
this, so perfectly normal in all ways, as any man would be who
got out of bed in the morning.
Without looking at me, he replied, “I had not intended to
go inside.”
“Oh,” I said, unbalanced.
“I would escort you there and then go on to the Keep at
Ural to gather some much needed information. Most of what I
know about the structure of the Kingdom is about a hundred
years out of date, and the contents of that Thelein
bastard’s head were not worthy of tight inspection. He’s
lied so much he doesn’t know himself what truth is of his
making.” He sat down on the bed and began to get into his
trousers.
“I also need at least a few men for various purposes. Is
a day and a night long enough for your visit, for that is how
long I expect to take with my affairs and the added travel?”
“Yes, that’s – plentiful,” I said, still shocked by
his utter calmness and rationality.
He had buttoned his trousers and now slipped his boots on.
“I will place an order for the horses, then. Unless there
is something else you wish to be doing first?”
“No, that’s all – just fine,” I said and watched
him shrug into his jacket and button it up with military
precision. “I will be dressed in a moment.”
He finished with the last button that sat across his
throat, straightened and turned to me with a smile.
“Take your time. We can leave within the hour.”
I nodded and watched him stride easily across the room to
the wardrobe. From it, he produced a simple leather holster
that went around his waist. He adjusted it with movements born
out of consummate practice. He took one of the black cloaks,
one with luxurious gold fastenings and placed it across his
shoulders, clipping the fastener into place. Next, he found a
pair of black leather gloves with long sleeves and slipped his
hands inside. They were finely made and fitted to perfection,
a skin beyond his skin. He pulled them up tight each and
flexed fist to hand a couple of times each, movements so
rehearsed, so detached, so many times repeated that he was
performing them without being aware of them in the slightest.
Then he closed the wardrobe door and took the first sword
from the wall and inserted it into the holder, then the other,
drew his elbows back and lightly touched each hilt with care,
before letting the cloak cover them both.
He looked – impressive. Yet he did not seek my eye or
take any notice of his transformation from man to soldier; as
though I had been forgotten, he simply strode from the room,
the cloak flowing behind him like water.
I shook my head and sighed. I had not yet found the measure
of this man.
I took my time getting washed and dressed; I knew well I
needed neither sword nor cloak but it would have been rather
nice to have had one of the Tadara given to me to carry,
nonetheless. I tried one of the other cloaks; it was light and
actually very nice to feel about me, although it was way too
long and trailed on the floor. I briefly wondered if he would
mind if I shortened it, then decided that he probably would
not, so I shrunk the pattern of the entire garment until it
befitted me perfectly. The clasp of this cloak was a dull
silver and I thought to turn it to gold, but that would not
have matched the bright silver of the necklace I was wearing
and which sat warm and as though it had been there forever,
tightly around my throat. I checked out the pattern of the
metal in the necklace and was quite surprised how complex and
involved Lucian had made this – it would take a while to
read and understand, never mind to be able to replicate it
perfectly, so I settled for brightening up the silver clasp
and removing the dirt and age from the surface layers instead.
I went to the wash room to find the mirror and was well
pleased with the cloak and its effect. For all anyone could
know, I was wearing a very ladylike dress beneath it rather
than a mind dyed Serein robe.
I was still looking at myself in the mirror, wondering who
on earth this stern looking woman was when inside I really
didn’t feel much different than when Marani had shaved my
hair and put me into sackcloth, tied with a rough string that
trailed down from my waist and bare dirty feet sticking out
from under it, when Lucian send me a gentle nudge to tell me
that the horses had arrived and all was ready to go.
I
smiled and caught myself smile in reflection.
“Well,” I
said to the woman in the mirror, “at least he doesn’t
shout at us to COME anymore.” She smiled back in full
understanding and I turned and left to start the ride to my
home village once again.
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